i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
