Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
