Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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