I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
