my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
