so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
