But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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