8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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