worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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