alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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