I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
