I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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