So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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