I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
