I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize