thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
