you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
