420 ftw
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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