Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
