i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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