dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
