just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
