I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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