True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
