The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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