he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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