I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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