Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
