I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We need a shit load of segways right now
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
