i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
