It's just like the Real World with babies
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
