3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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