you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
