I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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