bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
