it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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