you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This is classic penis vs brain.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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