I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
