Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
