this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
