You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
