On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
