He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Pants are for mortals
My butt remains clenched, sir.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
