Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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