Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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