The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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