so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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