do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
