like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
