yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Randomize
