so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize