I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
