if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
