It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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