And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
