He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
