i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
