One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
